Dear Barnaby,

A friend loaned me your book recently. You seem to live in the stone age. How can you deny women the right to all the things you complain about; joining the forces, police etc and maternity leave. Women have a right to these things and have lived in men's shadow for long enough.

My husband is a big fan of your website, he's finds your brand of sexual humour funny though personally I think it is the worse kind of base humour. He was chortling to himself just now so I looked over his shoulder. He was laughing at your disgusting attack on overweight women and the serious issue of obesity and pregnancy which you have chosen to mock. Fattism is against law now, you should be ashamed.

Dear Barnaby,

Your book, site and yourself are a disgrace. You do the name of men a disservice.

Barney,
 
I'm a straight guy and don't fancy other guys at all. Not remotely.
 
However, I get turned on shitless at watching porn with shemales in them.
 
In empties my tank spectacularly.
 
Is this ok?
 
Roger - West Yorkshire

Dear Barnaby,

Pure and utter bilge and possibly illegal in terms of sexual equality. My husband is a barrister and I'm going to try to get your site shut down you bastard.

Dear Barnaby,

I watched a video with my boyfriend where a woman had sex with a horse...I thought it looked fantastic and have fantasized about it ever since.I would love to give it a try,but don't really know how to go about it. Have you any advice? Cheers Barnaby from Kayleigh xx

Its crap like yours that women have been fighting to overcome for a hundred years. So now we can't have periods. Perhaps you'd like us to go off into the bushes to have babies. Where have you been for the last 50 years you arsehole.

Dear Barnaby,

The people in the office were all laughing and talking about this site so I logged on. Thought I'd let you know that i dont think its funny at all. Your humour is schoolboy, your tales lavatorial and your views are disgusting. You represent everything I despise in a man and I wonder what sort of a person, I assume you are at least middle aged, spends his time writing such garbage?

That guy that wrote in about his bird having a smelly pussy. Am I the only guy in the world that loves it, the smell stays on your fingers for days? The sex lives of the potato men is my favourite film.

Dear Barnaby,

You should be ashamed of the shit in your book. I've never read such chauvanistic, mysogonistic, tripe. Plainly you were brought up in brutal woman hating household, I feel sorry for your mother, if you had one.Why don't you get a life you stupid prat.

Your "dating contract" in the book is typical of men and dangerous nonsense. I've reported it to the police
Jean Alton

I get pricks like you coming on to me every day of my life. Woman want stability, honesty and integrity in their men, not infidelity, schoolboy larks and sniggers. Do you see all your life through a Viz comic?
June Netherlands

Dear Barnaby,

I suspect you are a grotesque, filthy little man, incapable of relationships and hiding behind this mask of 'ballsman'. People like you make a good case for Womens Lib and the abolition of man.

Regan Marshall (Ms)
Somerset

Dear Barnaby,

You may think you are funny Mr Spen but the recommendations in your book could be extremely harmful to a relationship if taken seriously by a young man. Its difficult enough for a young couple to stay together these days without this kind of provocation.