Dear Barnaby,

I've downloaded the book and realise I'm a Noballs man. We've even got one of those pathetic leather TV Times covers. I showed it to my wife and she read a bit and said you were a tosser and that I wouldn't dare to become a Ballsman. I know I should do something but I'm scared of change. Any ideas.

Dear Barnaby,

A friend loaned me your book recently. You seem to live in the stone age. How can you deny women the right to all the things you complain about; joining the forces, police etc and maternity leave. Women have a right to these things and have lived in men's shadow for long enough.

Dear Barnaby,

I'm worried about your influence on my 59 yr old dad who has taken up the 'ballsman' cause and is behaving in a shockingly un-dad like manner. He recently moved to a filthy flat in Tenerife and became a time-share salesman. I also believe he is over-friendly with the wives of several East End refugees from the law. Don't you think that retired gentlemen of a certain age should restrain themselves? Surely there is an upper age limit to this 'ballsman' stuff? Should I now insist on pipe and slippers?

Dear Barnaby,

My old lady left me a while ago. Recently she sent me the link to your book, she said she recommended it you me. She called me recently and asked if I'd read it. I said yes and she said what was the single most thing that impressed me about it. I said nothing really and I didn't see what it was all about. I said any man can be macho but I was raised to believe it takes a sensitive man to look after a woman. She just laughed and hung up. What does she mean, I just don't get it.

Dear Barnaby,

My husband read your book and its turned his head completely. From being a decent loving man he now insists on sex at any time he deems fit, has stopped doing chores around the house and has banned my mother from visiting us. You've a lot to answer for Mr Spen.

Dear Barnaby,

My wife read the book and she said after reading the final chapter "How was it for you" that you and I must be acquainted. I suppose this an insult?

I keep seeing references to SWMBO in letters to you. What does it mean?

Dear Barnaby,

You should be ashamed of the shit in your book. I've never read such chauvanistic, mysogonistic, tripe. Plainly you were brought up in brutal woman hating household, I feel sorry for your mother, if you had one.Why don't you get a life you stupid prat.

Dear Barnaby,

I came upon your site a few months ago and nearly wee'd myself laughing. I'm 72 and feel as though I'm logging on to porn and being very naughty. I've just asked my neighbour how to download the book and cant wait to read it. Keep up the good work Barnaby.
Yours Mary F.

Dear Barnaby,

Why is your book not available in the shops, I've tried everywhere?
John Bussy

Dear Barnaby,

I've put a SWMBO sign up in my living room. My wife has no idea what it means and it tickles me.
Ballsman

Your "dating contract" in the book is typical of men and dangerous nonsense. I've reported it to the police
Jean Alton

Dear Barnaby,

Hey dude, caught your book and laughed my bollocks off. At last someone speaking up for us guys. My wife fucked off with the pool guy and left me with three kids. it broke my heart but I'm ok now. Got some t-shirts on order. When's the next book?
Paul Schriver
Santa M. Cal

Dear Barnaby,

My wife and I just got back from holiday. Found your book in the holiday apartment. We're in our 60's but always had a laugh and a healthy sex life. Arthur Kipper was the wife's dad, she thought it was fantastic. Keep it up Barny, is another book planned?

Dear Barnaby,

You know that dog-walking, maintenance-man thing in the book. Christ, it's me. Yup, and Sunday tea arrangement. How do you know all this?

Dear Barnaby,

I found the final chapter in the book (So how was it for you) utterly disgusting and derogatory to women. How can you encourage men to behave like that. Wouldn't you be better employed writing advice on how men can be tender and loving in the bedroom?

Dear Barnaby,

I'd like to get my fucking hands on you you prick. I bet you spend all your time wanking off to porn but you're terrified of women aren't you. I bet your dick is tiny you fucking chauvinist bastard

Dear Barnaby,

My mother-in-law is an old bag. But she was babysitting for us one night and picked up your book. A few days later it was my birthday and she sent me a card signed "with love SWMBO" Can't be all bad can she.

Dear Barnaby,

I am at a crossroads in life. I cannot make a decision on which road to take. Things are ok as they are, for me, but the two women in my life want me to make a committment one way or t'other.What would you do????????

Dear Barnaby,

I got an anonomous birthday card the other day. it just said inside "will you be my FB? See www. Ballsman.org I logged on and couldn't get it for ages. But it's fuck buddy isn't it. problem is I don't know who sent it. Anyway, great site.

Dear Barnaby,

Your chapter So how was it for you sweetheart is hilarious. I showed it to my husband (for whom it was written) and he simply didn't get it, which made it even funnier. Great book and site is first log on when I get the time.

Dear Barnaby,

I accidentally broke wind whilst making love to my wife last night. I immediately thought about your book when you said it's the ultimate ballsman accolade and I just collapsed with laughter and couldn't finish the job. My wife took real umbrage and she'll still mad even though I explained. Why is she so cross?

Dear Barnaby,

Just read the book and I have to say it's hysterically funny. I doubt I'll ever be a ballsman given that I do love my wife and kids but the book should be mandatory in broadening young peoples education; male and female alike. Incisive and educational. So, when does the follow-up come out and have you any other publications.

Dear Barnaby,

I read in your book a passage that basically women dont want to be in charge of anything. I think this is an accurate quote. Surely this is not so. There are many women who run successful companies. I myself have a very good business. many women could be so much better than they are and your position can only frustrate that. is this reasonable and will you publish it as you seem to only publish the bad swear word letters?

Dear Barnaby,

I had to get my husband out of the house to have a look at your site, my daughter told me about it. I think its spot on and really funny. I ordered the online book and wondered if you have any other publications I can look at.