Once you realise that the people running our country don't have a clue what they're doing you can relax. Just close your eyes and wait for the bang!

Let's take them in turn.

David Cameron. What Cameron is certain of, for a man not certain of very much, is that he was born to be Prime Minister, and from where he's sitting it's pretty much job done. Virtually everything he's done since coming to office he has changed his mind about, but sails on with the supreme confidence and bearing of the class from which he comes.

Nick Clegg. Has shown himself to be the supreme chancer and is prepared to dance to any tune that keeps him in his job, a job which he still pinches himself each morning to find himself in. Likely to face oblivion at the next election so enjoying it while he can.

George Osborne. Cameron's dapper old Eton chum. Will find himself ditched if his one club approach to the economy doesn't work, which is looking extremely likely. Would be more at home in an old Scarlet Pimpernel movie with a powdered wig, beauty spot and stockings.

And finally, Mervyn King. Governor of the Bank of England, this guy has been in charge through the whole shooting match. Suspiciously in hock to Osborne, he's prime job is to keep inflation below 2%, which he last achieved in, er, June 2009! No resigner he then. Cameron and Osborne are keen to keep him in his job because they're desperate that interest rates stay low, so it's a cosy arrangement.

This lot, collectively, are as much use as a chocolate teapot and they're all we've got. Fuck me!