Creepy Clegg to Dave on the phone, "Better get back from wherever you are Dave,"

Dave, "Cornwall mate, can't have the proles accusing me of living it up while they're on bread and water can I."

Creepy Clegg, but you've just come back from Tuscany

Dave, "Never mind about that, look, what's up?"

Creepy Clegg, thing is Dave, old Gadaffi's on the run, looks like he'll be hanging from a tree any time now, thought you'd want to be back in Downing Street.

Dave, "Gotcha, looking very statesman-like and just a tad triumphal?"

Creepy Clegg, you got it Dave, bags of cred coming your way.

Dave, "Good one, I'm on my way er, what's your name?"

Creepy Clegg, I'm nobody your Daveship.

Huge problemmo now is Gadaffi's son has popped up saying his dad is fine and they're still very much in charge. And yes, Dave's gone back to Cornwall with his tad triumphal speech neatly folded in his top pocket.