Creepy Clegg to Dave on the phone, "Better get back from wherever you are Dave,"

Dave, "Cornwall mate, can't have the proles accusing me of living it up while they're on bread and water can I."

Creepy Clegg, but you've just come back from Tuscany

Dave, "Never mind about that, look, what's up?"

Creepy Clegg, thing is Dave, old Gadaffi's on the run, looks like he'll be hanging from a tree any time now, thought you'd want to be back in Downing Street.

Dave, "Gotcha, looking very statesman-like and just a tad triumphal?"

Creepy Clegg, you got it Dave, bags of cred coming your way.

Dave, "Good one, I'm on my way er, what's your name?"

Creepy Clegg, I'm nobody your Daveship.

Huge problemmo now is Gadaffi's son has popped up saying his dad is fine and they're still very much in charge. And yes, Dave's gone back to Cornwall with his tad triumphal speech neatly folded in his top pocket. more...

Before we get too carried away by the latest events in Libya and Cameron portrays himself as the great liberator as he most surely will, remember this. more...

So there's this guy, some French actor called Gerard Depardieu. He's on a plane from Dublin to Paris, or the other way around, waiting to take off, and having imbibed a few sherberts, like you do, feels the need to take a pee. more...

Once you realise that the people running our country don't have a clue what they're doing you can relax. Just close your eyes and wait for the bang!

Let's take them in turn. more...

If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have £49.00 today.
If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you would have £33.00 today.
If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you would have £0.00 today.
But, if you had purchased £1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refund, you would have received £214.00.
  Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle.
A recent study found that the average Briton walks about 900 miles a year.  Another study found that Britons drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year.  That means that, on average, Britons get about 41 miles to the gallon!  Makes you proud to be British!!!  more...

NATO forces have killed thirty three children during a bombing raid in Libya. The principle cheerleader for this foreign adventure is David Cameron. What a guy! more...

Apparently when Nicklas Bendtner threw his shirt into the Arsenal crowd at the end of last season they threw it back!! more...

Seems we don't look for the weather forecast anymore while we rub the sleep out of our eyes. more...

Apparently we're getting a new Dragon, whoopee do! Look at this lot. The spin is that these intrepid entrepreneurs are on the lookout for business talent to invest in. It's a wonderful concept isn't it? Inventors with cool business ideas display them to the panel, who, if they think an idea is worthwhile will then vie with each other to give the happy individual thousands of pounds of investment capital. more...