Dear Barnaby,

You sound like a right fucking wanker.You are obviously a fucking ginger tosser with a complex about your own abilities.You are obviously a crap shag and a fucking useless individual.
Why don't you fuck off and do something worthwhile; like jump off a cliff?

Dear Barnaby,

I saw the date contract bit in your book. Congratulations for the irony and the laugh it gave me. I'm thinking of printing it to see if I can get a bloke to sign it. What do you think?

Dear Barnaby,

Somebody tell me about you are book. I believe it is shit. You are fom the old times and need your bullocks cutting from you are ass. If you are come to Holland the wimen here would cut off you are cocks and feed them into you are mouth. Get lost fuck shit Bamby.

Dear Barnaby,

Barnaby, my wife wants us to liven up our marriage by bringing another couple in and 'swapping.' It all sounds good and she is looking on the net for a suitable couple as we speak,but I am a bit worried...What if the guy in the 'swap couple' has a bigger dick than me and she prefers sex with him? I am worried that it could all go too well and sound the death knell for my 25 year marriage.
I need advice mate;what do you think?
Cheers, Andy (stockton on tees)

Dear Barnaby,

I've got a regular girlfriend and we get on fine. problem is I used to be homosexual. What I mean is that my first sexual experiences were with men. Since then I've moved on and had girl friends but never really left the past behind. Now I find myself seeing men and women and having sex with both. I find them equally attractive and honestly don't mind which. Am I unusual and how would my girl react if she knew? At some stage I want to settle down and have a family and she would be ideal.

Dear Barnaby,

My step brother has left his wife. She keeps calling me to help her with fixing things and yesterday she said a good way to get back at him would be to have sex with me. On the face of it, it seems like a good idea, but what if he finds out?

Dear Barnaby,

My husband is peculiar in that whilst we have a reasonable sex life he refuses to appear naked in front of me. I've never actually seen his penis. Is this unusual?

Dear Barnaby,

I downloaded your book. I just thought you'd like to know that i thought it was absolute crap.

Hi Barnaby,

I've been reading this stuff about sex with big women and I can't see the problem. I've always preferred big women to skinny ones. You get more bang for your bucks, they try harder to please you, are eternally grateful and never say no, what more could you want?

Dear Barnaby,

What's your view on geriatric sex?